This Blog Is Closing

OH NOES!!!!

I know you guys are still reeling from the death of Geocities, but I'm going to have to give (all three of) you some tragic news.

This blog is closing as well.

But wait!

This blog isn't dying for that long. Just like the most sacrilegious reference you can cook up, it's resurrecting! But, only, in a different, more dot.commy place.


STINKY BURGER PRODUCTIONS: www.stinkyburgerproductions.com

YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/stinkyburger

FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/stinkyburgerproductions

TWITTER: http://twitter.com/stinkyburger

E-MAIL: stinkyburgerproductions@gmail.com

Blood Pong hits the net

My new short film, Blood Pong, has been released!



Be sure to watch in high quality. The difference is seriously amazing. I don't know why YouTube doesn't make it automatic, but it's like eating french fries compared to eating way better, crispier, and less sucky french fries.

Hope you like!

Chad and John aren't your average vampires. They don't talk in sexy accents, they don't wear capes, they don't fall in love with klutzy girls named Bella, and--wait, what? No, no, of course they don't sparkle, what the fuck? But what they do do... is play blood pong. When they run of of blood, however, they need to act like real vampires for a change and go on a hunt. Written and directed by Patrick Shand (Ultimate Couples Therapy; Buffyverse Comic Reviews) and starring Patrick Shand and Steven Wisnowski (Whatz Good Studios), this short film takes aim at the state of horror today. No Eli Roth will go unPWNed, no neck will be left unravished, and no blood pong game will be left unwon.

STARRING
Patrick Shand as John the Vampire
Steven Wisnowski as Chad the Vampire
Joe Vono as the Douchey Boyfriend
Laura Montaruli as Chick
Chris Halton as Dead "Bill Haverchuck" Body

NEXT TIME: Two improv shorts featuring the cast of BLOOD PONG. They're up on YouTube if you want to check them out, but I'll write a bit more in depth about them here.

Blood Pong trailer

My new short film, BLOOD PONG, comes out April 29th! If you liked Ultimate Couples Therapy, you'll love (or be horrified, disgusted, and offended by) this. Check out the trailer.

Official Blood Pong Trailer:

Introducing... Uber Chick

It's been entirely too long since my last blog. I'll talk about how crazycrazywell my staged readings went in a later post, because I need to dedicate this entry to something I can't believe I haven't dedicated an entry to already.

Uber Chick.

Two weeks ago, I released a short film called Ultimate Couples Therapy. It's a comedy about a woman named Delilah who believes herself to be a superhero named Uber Chick. This "delusion" has caused her relationship with her huggy bear Josh to suffer, so they've signed up for couples therapy... which doesn't go well.

Ultimate Couples Therapy - written & directed by Patrick Shand

Watch in HQ over at YouTube, seriously, it's much clearer. Even clearer than the DVD version, but forget I said that if I ever try to sell it.

The response so far has been great. It's the first Stinky Burger Production we've put out other than Whatz Good Studios, and so far, it's gotten more views in the first week than any episode of Whatz Good. The cast was fantastic, and I'll be doing another short film--this time a horror set in a creepy forest--very soon.

Coming April 29th: Blood Pong (a short film): Written and directed by Patrick Shand, starring Patrick Shand, Steven Wisnowski, Joe Vono, and Laura Montaruli. The next post I make here will feature two original shorts in promotion of the film.

Breathers: A Zombie's Lament

Pat Shand's journal. March sixth.

Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have see--

Ah, sorry. Still reeling from the awesomeness of Watchmen. Still so shocked how closely the movie followed the comic, and even more shocked by how much it worked. But that's not what this blog entry is about.

When I started this blog, the intention was to keep the reviews over on my other site, Buffyverse Comic Reviews, and to limit this blog to what's going on with me, as a writer. But I'm going to break that "rule" today, for a couple of reasons.

First off, you know that common piece of writing advice? "Write what you'd like to read." Well, I try, and sometimes I succeed. Which might be why I think I'm more clever than literary magazines do. But how rare is it to find something by an author that is exactly what you want to read? The only three instances I can think of that happening is with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, and Veronica Mars. A lot of other stuff comes close, especially some TV shows and some comics by one Mr. Brian K. Vaughan... but I've never found the kind of novel where I could say, "If I were able to channel exactly what I want to read, this would be it."

Well, that's changed.

Breathers by S. G. Browne. It's exactly what I want to read, and exactly what I wish I was clever enough to pen. I am in love with this book, and you will be too if you have a pulse. Or, in this case, even if you don't.

I got a bound galley of the book a while ago from Amazon Vine, and now that the book is out, I have to tell everyone to buy it. You'll thank yourself. And me. Don't forget me.

So here's my review.

"S. G. Browne is my new favorite author.

"I don't know what it is, exactly, but I can always tell when a novel is going to be special. That point of realization is different in every novel I read, but this one came very early on. As soon as the book arrived at my house, thanks to a grumbly delivery man, I opened up to a random page, just to get a taste of the language. A phrase jumped out at me right away. That phrase was 'five to eight bowls of Cocoa Puffs.' I had no idea what the context was, but I didn't care. I knew I had picked up something odd, quirky, and well-written just from that one phrase. Call it intuition, call it me being wacky, but I wasn't wrong. "Breathers" is, without a doubt, one of the best books I've ever read.

"And you should see my collection.

"The best way I can describe the novel is this. It's a rom-zom-com (romantic zombie comedy). Yeah, it's sort of like Shaun of the Dead, but through the eyes of the zombie. Only this time around, the zombies aren't brainless, brain-crazing fiends. They're sympathetic creatures who ARE still people, no matter what society thinks. If I were to pitch it to a movie studio, those execs ever fond of comparisons, I'd say it was Shaun of the Dead as a civil rights piece as written by Joss Whedon... with the confidence of Stephen King. But when it comes down to it, there's really no use trying to describe the novel or S. G. Browne's writing style. All I can say is that his ability to write clear, engaging prose is second only to his ability to switch from high comedy to tragedy without missing a beat. I have no doubt that one day, most likely very soon, he'll be as much of a household name as the aforementioned Whedon and King.

"I loved the writing, I loved the characters, I laughed, I cried. I\'ll certainly be reading the book many times over. Everyone who has ever laughed at something they felt they shouldn't be laughing at, everyone who likes things that are the opposite of suck, and anyone who has ever been amazed by how great a novel can be should pick up "Breathers" by S. G. Browne."

So don't be the last person to get the book. It's gonna be big. Go out and buy it. You won't regret.

Soft Serve - Director Announcement

(clicky)

So, as I announced before, my play Soft Serve has been accepted into Kavon Enterprise's Shhh... Let's Talk About Sex festival. If that wasn't exciting enough, it's going to be directed by Frederic Michaels. The cast for the play is Matthew Cohn, Kari Washington, Lisa Strum and Clinton Lowe.

It's going to be a great show, and I'd greatly appreciate it if those in the New York area would come see it. It's going to be at...

NICU SPOON THEATRE (fifth floor)
38 WEST 38TH STREET
BETWEEN 5TH & 6TH AVENUE
NYC

Door open at 5:30, festival starts at 6:15.

Sex and the Studio, AKA Whatz Good Studios, Returning in August!

(clicky)

promo done by Anthony Ficaro

SHORT VERSION: Whatz Good Studios returns August 14, 2009. Fun stuff awaits.

LONG VERSION: (my wind is as long as a pornstar's... you got it)

Whatz Good Studios was my first venture into film. We got off to a bit of a rocky start last year, but by the end of the season I think we pulled everything together and made the show work. I'm proud of the eight webisode run we had in 2008, and think that all the storylines came together nicely. I knew 2009 was going to be a busy, busy year for me, what with prepping a lot of staged readings, short films, and plays, but I also wanted to work more with my friends involved in Whatz Good. Some of the best times I ever had was writing, filming, and just messing around in the studio. So I knew we had to do another season of webisodes, but I also knew I wouldn't be able to write 'em all and still focus on bringing my career as a writer to the next step.

So Season Two of Whatz Good Studios welcomes two new staff writers, Dan Nestor and Jack Gallegos. Dan worked on lighting in the first season, and Jack wrote the segment in Episode Five where Smiley tries working on a weblog. Dan's written three episodes so far, one featuring the return of MC Spinnerz and Tiny, and Jack's already written two, the first being a homage to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Whatz Good style.

I'll still be writing a lot of it, directing most of it, and maybe appearing as Chuck Phuckhardy. But we'll see.

So yeah, here's the promo for the second season. The season premiere comes out August 14th, 2009. It's called "Double Kill," and is written by me. If you enjoyed the first season, you'll like this even better. If you hated the first season, I think this might pull you in. Or, you know, you might hate it, in which case... you're dead to me.

A lot of posts/news regarding my upcoming plays will be posted this week. Stay tuned!

-Pat Shand

Followers, Reports, News

Hey all,

Some new stuff.

1. Added a "Followers" gadget to the side. Make with the clickage.

2. Today is the last major filming day for Ultimate Couples Therapy, whether the entire cast can be there or not. Oh the magic of editing.

3. The Potential Energy festival is over. The performance of The Ruler of the Chocolatey Universe went great, the performance of Inpregnito went well. I'll be posting write-ups of those nights when the videos are You Tubed... which will be very very soon. For now, I'll say how impressed I am with all of my peers, both for their acting and writing abilities. I'm honored to have worked alongside such brilliant people. Also, I'm so grateful for the well-known playwrights who came in to help us out. Aurin Squire, Carla Ching, Luke Kreugar, J. Julian Christopher, you all were so gracious and so helpful. Can't say enough about them. And of course thanks to the brilliant Jodi Van Der Horn-Gibson who organized this whole shindig.

(From the Potential Energy festival. L-R: Dennis A. Allen II, Patrick
Shand, Luke Kreuger. After Dennis's play, "no but thank you" and my
play "The Ruler of the Chocolatey Universe," Luke hosted a Q&A
session in which we engaged in a dialogue with the audience)

4. After a tip from Mr. Aurin Squire, I contacted someone doing another festival of one-act stage readings. This time in the city. The topic was sex, and I had three days to write the play before the press release. First deadline, so that's exciting. I wrote it, it's called Soft Serve, and it's almost uncomfortably vulgar, but it just kind of went that way. It's got a head on its shoulders, though, so it's okay. I wouldn't want this kind of play to make anyone comfortable, so I'm happy with the way it came out. And it's funny, so there's that.

Alright, folks. Wish me luck, hope all is well, and catch you soon.

-Pat

Flyer

(clicky)

So the flyer and the program for the New Works Festival, now dubbed Potential Energy, is out. I love the flyer. Dennis A. Allen II, a jack of all trades if I ever knew one, did a wonderful job capturing the essences of all the plays in the images he chose. Make me happy and click on the image to see his work all huge-like.

NOTE: "Anthony Sicaro" should read "Anthony Ficaro" (dude from Whatz Good Studios) Also, the word "ACTORS:" was left out of the credits for The Ruler of the Chocolatey Universe, which makes it seem like I had a lot of help writing it but that no one acts in it.

Oh well. Excited for the show. Today is the first day of tech, so yay that. I have an hour to spare before I have to head down, so I'm going to go into the lab and edit some more of Ultimate Couples Therapy. Loving that film.

-Pat

Pat Shand Hits the Stage THIS THURSDAY AND FRIDAY

Come See Plays Written and Directed by Pat Shand

(image by Dennis A. Allen II)

So if you're in the Long Island area this weekend, you really should check this out. In late 2008, I wrote two plays, THE RULER OF THE CHOCOLATEY UNIVERSE and INPREGNITO. Both of them will now hit the stage for Molloy College's NEW WORKS FESTIVAL, a--you guessed it--festival of staged readings. Each playwright had to directed their own staged reading, so some will be a by-the-books reading while others will be a bit more theatrical. There will be Q&A with the playwrights after each play. I'll break it down for you.

THURSDAY (starting at 7:30pm)

not in order

The Ruler of the Chocolatey Universe by Patrick Shand

Crossroads by Joseph Buscarino

Tough Guy by Tom Rizzuto

FRIDAY (starting at 7:30pm)

IN ORDER

Grace on High by Pamela Merrill

no but thank you by Dennis A. Allen II

Inpregnito by Patrick Shand

SATURDAY (starting at 7:30pm)

not in order

I'm a Business Man by Sean Dougherty

Real Estate by Dennis A. Allen II

Grade School by Joseph Buscarino

Like Grown-ups Do by Tom Rizzuto

Definitely gotta throw the Parental Advisory sticker up there, though. Don't bring the kiddies, especially not Friday, lest you want them to see a play that garners these kind of responses. But please, support your local writers. And me, definitely me. INPREGNITO is getting the full stage treatment sooner or later, depending if it wins a festival or if Three Monos just wants to put it on as a 2010 production, but either way, if you come on Friday you'll be the first to witness it.

WHERE DO I GO?

Molloy College

1000 Hempstead Ave., Rockville Centre, NY 11571-5002

For more elaborate directions, click here.

Once you get to Molloy College, go to the KELLENBERG BUILDING. Once you're there, head for the ANSELMA ROOM, where the staged readings will take place.

Thanks so much for coming. If you don't, a plague upon your house.

-Pat